dear sense of guilt or anger or whatever. Stop fucking around with me.

that one step that i don't take because of fear.

stay. Is something i wish i had said to many people around me but never managed to.


stay.

growing up

I think by the time i'd come to realise that i had to grow up, it was already to late. When does the childhood enjoyment end? Not to mention, a childhood will exist whether enjoyable or not.

They always said i was a sensible person. Am i really? And, is this really a blessing? Being aware of the consequences, fearing the future.

So i saw you crying across the table and you said that you don't want to be lonely any more. Being myself and knowing my position, i couldn't say or do anything. But you know, you're not the only lonely person. It's okay for you to cry. I shan't though because someone has to pretend that all is well and play that naive child.

so i had this confession about one of my habits. truthfully a little light headed and hands are shaky because of side effects but meh.

I don't really know how to deal. As in, there are so many things i cannot really cope with. When things get too complicated and noisy i just shut down. Y'know like, my brain doesn't work anymore and i have to sit down and close my eyes. I don't understand what i need to do. It's like, some times i want to cry and not do anything anymore. It's not me to take things lightly. I'm the thinker. But when i get lost i just cannot deal. what should i do? I'm afraid to do so much yet i still want to try.

D: really just. D: